當(dāng)發(fā)現(xiàn)自己的孩子在撒謊，你該慶幸還是焦慮？_英語外教
當(dāng)發(fā)現(xiàn)自己的孩子在撒謊，你該慶幸還是焦慮？
When you find your child lying, should you rejoice or be anxious?
某一天，當(dāng)發(fā)現(xiàn)自己的孩子在撒謊，你該慶幸還是焦慮？
One day, when you find your child lying, should you rejoice or be anxious?
英語外教為您帶來場景重現(xiàn)：
The English teacher brings the scene to you:
“梅西納先生，我的孩子 今天不去學(xué)校了 因?yàn)樗×��！?/p>
"I don't want to go to school today, father, because he's sick.". "
”請(qǐng)問您是誰？“
"Who's calling, please?" "
”我是我爸爸�！�
"I'm my father.". "
孩子是否對(duì)你撒過謊？孩子從什么時(shí)候開始撒謊？你可以識(shí)破孩子的謊言么？
Did the child lie to you? When did the child start telling lies? Can you read the kid's lies?
兒童發(fā)展研究專家通過專研得到了以下結(jié)論：
Through expert research, the following conclusions are drawn from the children's development experts:
2歲的孩子，剛開始只有30%會(huì)撒謊；4歲的孩子，會(huì)有50%會(huì)撒謊；四歲的孩子80%都會(huì)撒謊。研究表明，2-12歲的孩子隨著年齡的增加，孩子撒謊的比例也在穩(wěn)固提升！幾乎所有的父母都會(huì)給孩子說撒謊不是好孩子這句話，那么有多少父母能夠識(shí)別出孩子說話的真假？Kang Lee也做了調(diào)查。調(diào)查顯示大多數(shù)的成年人對(duì)孩子的謊言沒有太多的辨別率：
At the age of 2, only 30% will lie at first; 4 year old children will lie 50%; four year old children will lie 80%. Research shows that 2-12 year old children, as the age increases, the proportion of children lying is steadily improved! Almost all parents tell their children that lying is not a good child. How many parents can recognize the truth of a child's speech? Kang Lee also made an investigation. Most adults don't have much discrimination about children's lies, according to the survey:
為什么不是所有的孩子都撒謊？當(dāng)發(fā)現(xiàn)你的孩子撒謊會(huì)不會(huì)驚慌？
Why don't all children lie? Will you panic when you find your child lying?
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一個(gè)好的謊言需要兩個(gè)關(guān)鍵的元素。 第一個(gè)是心智理論，換言之讀心的能力。 讀心能力是一種知道相同情況下不同的人知道不同的事情的能力，是一種可以區(qū)分我知道什么和你知道什么的能力。讀心在撒謊時(shí)能力很重要因?yàn)槿鲋e從根本上說就是我知道你不知道我知道。因此我的謊言成功了。
A good lie needs two key elements. The first is the theory of mind, in other words, the ability to read the mind. Reading ability is the ability to know different people in the same situation and know different things. It's a ability to distinguish what I know and what you know. It's important to read your mind when you lie, because lying is basically what I know you don't know, I know. So my lies succeeded.
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第二個(gè)撒謊的關(guān)鍵因素是自我控制。控制語言、控制面部表情、控制身體動(dòng)作。 這樣的謊言才讓人信服。小孩子中讀心能力和自我控制能力更強(qiáng)的，更早開始說謊，也成為了更老練的撒謊者。
The second key to lying is self-control. Control language, control facial expressions, and control body movements. Such a lie is convincing. Mind reading ability and self control ability of children in the early start, lie, also become more sophisticated liar.
事實(shí)證明這兩種能力在社會(huì)中也是至關(guān)重要的。讀心能力和自我控制能力不足經(jīng)常會(huì)有一些嚴(yán)重的發(fā)展問題，比如多動(dòng)癥和自閉癥聯(lián)系在一起。所以當(dāng)你發(fā)現(xiàn)二歲的孩子開始撒謊，不要驚慌，你應(yīng)該慶幸。這意味著你的孩子進(jìn)入了典型發(fā)展的新的里程碑。
Facts have proved that these two abilities are also of vital importance in society. Lack of reading and self-control is often associated with serious developmental problems, such as ADHD and autism. So, when you find a two year old child lying, don't panic, you should be lucky. This means that your child has entered a new milestone in typical development.
為什么孩子會(huì)撒謊？
Why does a child lie?
孩子都是希望被肯定鼓勵(lì)的，沒有得到滿足，自然“饑渴”，為了得到表揚(yáng)或者讓父母高興，撒謊就是自然的事情了。同時(shí)孩子不喜歡被批評(píng)、被斥責(zé)，這種感覺的確很不爽。趨利避害是人之本能，最初可能是被迫撒謊而“成功”地避開批評(píng)，嘗到了甜頭之后就會(huì)強(qiáng)化這種行為，形成習(xí)慣。
Children are expected to be encouraged, not satisfied, natural "hunger", in order to praise or to make their parents happy, lying is natural. At the same time, children do not like to be criticized and reprimanded, which is really a bad feeling. Avoiding disadvantages is the instinct of man. At first, he may be forced to lie, and "succeed" to avoid criticism, and after tasting the benefits, he will strengthen his behavior and become accustomed to it.
發(fā)現(xiàn)孩子撒謊怎么辦？
What happens when a child lies?
孩子的撒謊大多數(shù)時(shí)候是不由自主的，大部分根源在于家長不恰當(dāng)?shù)慕逃绞�。所以不必�?yán)厲批評(píng)，不要貼上撒謊孩子的標(biāo)簽。孩子都知道撒謊不好，貼上標(biāo)簽可能促使他真的成了撒謊的孩子了，當(dāng)你發(fā)現(xiàn)孩子撒謊鼓勵(lì)比懲罰的效果要好！你家孩子有沒有“撒過謊”？你又是如何應(yīng)對(duì)的呢？
Children lie most of the time involuntarily, largely because of inappropriate parental education. So don't be critical, don't put on the label of a lying child. Children know that lying is bad, and labeling may prompt him to be a liar. When you find that a child lies, encouragement is better than punishment! Has your child lied? How do you deal with it?
